Christian Relationships

Recently, I've been wondering about what it means to be a Christian couple... =) Cos there are more and more couples amongst us in church... maybe cos many of us are reaching that "marriageable" age... I think it's definitely important that as Christian couples, we try to live out God's model in Ephesians 5, even in our dating-hood. For those of you who are not as familiar with the bible, Ephesians 5 talks about how the guy should lead the gal and show sacrificial love as Christ did for the church. His priority for her should be to help her grow in her godliness. The gal should submit to the guy and support and respect him. (Of cos we're not talking abt submitting to ungodly decisions here). And both will have to put the other person's interest ahead and above his/her own. With these principles laid down for a christian couple, what are the implications that come along?
Example...

1. Does it mean therefore, the guy has to be a bible study leader (to lead in the relationship) and the gal will definitely have to be a co-leader?

-- I get this feeling from many couples in our midst.. that if you're a godly couple, you will definitely serve together... most ideally in the same ministry, ministering to the same group of people. It will be esp good if you can lead a group together, with the guy leading and the gal being the co-leader.. isn't that the perfect model of a christian couple? I'm not too sure about that... personally, I'm wonderfully blessed that XLQ and I are able to serve God in that area... real privileged to be able to click with the young adults in PUNJ and be able to minister together. I think it's a real blessing and it's a bonus, really! But I don't think every couple should force themselves to be equally effective in the same ministry... many times, I think they will end up giving themselves undue pressure. Firstly, GOd has given us gifts in many different ways... sometimes, as a couple, we just don't have the same type of gifts to be serving in the same ministry... which I think it's actually ok... =) I think sometimes we all try to fit into this mould that we see in church... especially from older couples we admire a lot, who are serving God together. I think as long as we're serving God in the ways that we can, we really don't have to worry too much about intentionally serving as a couple. In simply sharing your struggles with people about trying to have a godly relationship, we're also serving God that way. Of cos I think in terms of time, it's great as a couple to be able to minister together, cos there's only so much time in a week and serving together helps you to have common friends and time to hang out together as a group. Though XLQ and myself spend so much
at PUNJ that it's hard for us to find quality time to spend together... hmm, will it even be worse if we're involved in different ministries? I dunno.. but i guess my point is that there may be times when it's really tough for one party to be serving in the same capacity as the other and if that's the case, maybe they shld take it easy... am not fully decided on this, just thinking aloud...

2. How can a gal support a guy practically? (cos the bible doesn't spell out explicitly what it means to support a guy)
Here are some which I think I learned and observed from other couples as well..
-listening to him when he needs to talk about stuff
-supporting him in the decisions that he makes (hopefully not blindly... but after talking through stuff)
-respecting him in public, not to put him down
-encourage him to utilize his strengths
-reassure him of his strengths and gifts
-reminding him of the priorities a Christian should have
-being there emotionally

I guess it also differs from couple to couple... maybe for some couples, some forms are needed more than others... and I think it's an ongoing process, learning how to help each other better... things to think about...

I've learned that sometimes the bible isn't all that clear on the hows of man and woman's roles... but I guess the basic principle is always the same... to put the other person's needs above your own... really tough call! Cos when the tough gets going, we always think about our own needs first... but that's when we can always look to Christ as an example for us...