Ministry thoughts...

This was written way back in mid March I think... just thought I post it anywayz.. =)

Haven't written for quite a while and that's cos I've had crazy weeks, bringing work home very often and working on Sundays... but thank God, things are much better now! And I actually didn't do ANY work this past weekend! Almost felt guilty about it... but I was like... "It's perfectly fine and reasonable not to work on weekends rite?!" Haha... oh wellz, had a real good weekend where I simply took Sunday off... slept in on Sunday morning and the rest of the day was very relaxing... normally on Sundays, I will try to have a one to one session... but have been taking a break for a while... will resume soon! But feel bit more rejuvenated now. =)
Realize that ministry is tough... it can be emotionally draining and challenging... but it's meant to last a lifetime. I really admire people who just keep plugging at it. Feel ashamed when I think of myself at times... but I guess it does motivate me to go on, looking at other people... knowing that all of us do struggle in the midst. Sometimes, I think it boils down to whether or not I do understand the extent of love God has shown me such that I Will want to share it with other people... if I do, I should keep going on! But it's real tough... esp when I wonder "Does spending so much time preparing for bible studies and all help the PUNJers?", "Do I really know what I'm doing?", "Am I qualified to handle God's Word?", "Am I really convicted by the lessons myself?"
Sometimes i feel like slacking and just not do anything! Haha... sometimes I wish I can have more of my own time to do my own things... eg. running, spending time with family, hanging out with friends and stuff... so I have to always remind myself that it's such a great privilege to be able to serve God in that way! And I think the best rewards of serving in PUNJ is when I witness how people have grown in their understanding and love for God... sigh, those are times when i think... it's so worth it! I think a lot of it involves me understanding that it's God doing the work and not me... sometimes, I feel so much pressure is cos I feel that people's growth pins on me, but it's really not the case!
It's great to have a ministry partner alongside... =) XLQ never fails to encourage me in times of tiredness or disappointment. I think we both get tired out sometimes, feeling disappointed with people and stuff... but I'm thankful that we have each other, that we can nudge each other to continue running this race... not only XLQ, but having the fellow PUNJ leaders help a lot... I know they're all busy with their own stuff as well, but they're also plugging on! Makes me appreciate them even more...